“You can suck my dick if you want.”
Full story guys, complete with awkward shocked face!
I say ‘like’ a lot. I’m from California, y’know?
This amused me a lot. I was once in a dive bar, talking to a totally douchetastic friend of one of my guy friends, and got, “So you want to slip into the bathroom and jerk me off?” Now, I was married at the time, my husband was there, and the guy friend *and* my husband would have put their fists all the way through his face and out the back of his empty skull had they known, but it was really much more effective to laugh in his face. So I did. This is a guy that joins sites like EHarmony and marks 5 (middle of the road) on all the questions so he’s matched up with basically every girl, picks all the hot ones, and schedules as many one-night stands as possible that way.
He told my friend later that I was an ugly bitch. I’m a little proud of that.